Dexter’s Laboratory Porn Story: Sailor Loon – Chapter 1

Dexter’s Laboratory is copyright (C)1996 by
Hanna-Barbera Productions and Cartoon Network.
Sailor Moon is the property of Takeuchi Naoko and some other folks
such as D.I.C. and Cloverway.

.com/jlfenton65/

I don’t own Dexter’s Laboratory, I didn’t make
the characters, and I’m not trying to make money on this, so please
don’t sue me. Ditto for Sailor Moon.

Many thanks to my pre-reader, Ben Oliver.

Author’s Notes: This is a typical Dexter’s
Lab style parody. Do not email me saying I have the names or uniforms
wrong or any such nonsense. This isn’t supposed to be accurate.
Think of the episode “Mock 5” for an idea of what I
am writing here. That episode is my favorite incidentally.

Dexter’s Laboratory: Sailor Loon

by Joe Fenton

Chapter 1: Zero To Hero

Dee Dee sat in
front of the TV as she did each afternoon following school. Her
attention was focused solely on the cartoon as she hugged her
legs, staring intently at the unfolding drama.

Sailor Moon approached
the new Sailor Scout with long blond hair. “Are you the princess?”

Dee Dee’s eye
grew to the size of saucers as she leaned forward and pressed
her head against the picture tube.

Sailor Venus
smiled and shook her head. “No, I’m just a Scout like you,
here to protect the princess.”

Dee Dee sprang
into the air, arms out wide as she let out a shriek, “aaaaaaaaAAAAAHHHHHHHhhhhhhh!!!!!”
She raced up the stairs to Dexter’s room. The door fell off its
hinges as she slammed through it. She made a quick pirouette and
leapt onto the circular rug, which dropped her into a tube serving
as one of the various entrances to the lab.

Dexter stared
intently into the ocular image enhancer. The adjustments he was
making to the isolinear optic processor chip were very delicate.
His tense mood was evident as he talked to himself, “Gently…
this is very delicate and fragile… just one
more modification…”

Dee Dee popped
up over his shoulder. “Oh! Dexter, Dexter! I wish – maybe
you – I’ll just die if you can’t!”

Dexter jumped
a foot as the chip snapped in half. Dexter gave the destroyed
circuit a horrified look. “My isolinear optical processor
chip! It is ruined!!” He growled at his ditsy sister.
“Just what are you doing in my laboratory, woman?!”

Dee Dee grabbed
him with one arm, holding him in a bear hug. She gestured expansively
with the other. “You have to make me a Moon Princess!! I
want to fight for Love! And Justice! Oh!! You just gotta…”

Dexter pried
himself loose from her grasp. “I have no time for this nonsense!”
He waved his hands in a shoo-ing gesture. “Go play somewhere
else. I have much work to accomplish in the time remaining
before we consume the evening repast Mom so lovingly prepares.”

Dee Dee rolled
her eyes and reached over work counter. She nudged a test tube
until it slipped off the counter and shattered on the floor.

“Hey! Hey!
What do you think you are doing?!” Dexter waved his fist
in the air, trying to assume a commanding appearance. It would
have worked better if he were more than two feet tall.

Dee Dee looked
away, assuming an air of innocence. “Noooooothing!”
She nudged another test tube, with similar results.

Dexter grabbed
a handful of his hair. “Stop! You are ruining my experiment!”

Dee Dee leapt
away with a titter. Equipment started to overload and explode
as she randomly pressed buttons on the control panels. Before
the smoke from one disaster had cleared, she was off to create
another.

Dexter watched
in mounting horror. “No! Do not press that! Ahhhh!!! Not
my synchotronic aural reverberator!” He had to stop this
before his whole lab was destroyed! “STOP!!!!”

Dee Dee stopped
in mid-stride. “Yeeessss Dexter?”

Dexter put a
hand over his face. “I cannot believe I am actually doing
this.” He addressed his sister, “If I make you a stupid
Moon Princess, will get out of my laboratory and leave me in peace?”

Dee Dee gathered
Dexter up and held him at arms length off the ground. “Of
course! Then I’d be out fighting the Evil Forces of the Negaverse!”
She swung him around a few times.

Dexter swatted
at her hands in a futile effort to disengage them. “Okay,
okay! Put me down!”

Dee Dee promptly
released him. Unfortunately, she forgot to stop swinging him around
first. Dexter flew off to the side before a conveniently placed
parts bin halted his progress.

Brushing himself
off, Dexter stomped over to the main computer console, muttering
under his breath. He cleared his voice. “Computer. Correlate
all information on the subject: Moon Princess.”

The computer
churned through countless files as it examined every episode of
the cartoon. Secondary displays showed diagrams of various Sailor
Scouts and transformation devices. “Dexter, all information
on the subject ‘Moon Princess’ has been analyzed.” The primary
display resolved into a blank figure in a leotard and short skirt,
with two hair balls and long tails dangling. It magnified the
center of the chest and highlighted the brooch. “The Moon
Princess is the possessor of the Silver Imperium Crystal.”

Dexter adjusted
his glasses absently. “Very good, Computer. Now, please fabricate
this Silver Imperium Crystal with the matter transduction unit.”

A brilliant white
light sprang into being in the center of a large chamber. Dee
Dee watched in mounting anticipation as an object slowly resolved
itself inside the light. As it came more clearly into view, Dee
Dee’s smile grew wider. The light faded, leaving a brooch with
a large crystal embedded in it.

Dee Dee could
no longer hold back. “aaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHHHHhhhhhh!!!”
She snatched the crystal from Dexter as he removed it from the
chamber, then caught him in a stranglehold. “Oh!!! Thank
you, Dexter! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you…”

Dexter was nearly
purple before Dee Dee finally released him. He sat insensate as
he tried to recover from the hug.

Dee Dee gritted
her teeth, her tongue sticking out the corner of her mouth as
she pinned the brooch to the top of her ballet outfit. She placed
one hand over the brooch and raised the other high. “MOON!
PRISM! POWER!!!”

Dee Dee slowly
lifted off the ground as a bright light surrounded her. Her leotard
changed to white, while the tutu formed into pleats. Pink bows
grew at the back of the outfit and from around the brooch. A pink
choker with a gold crescent moon formed around her neck, and a
gold tiara with a red gem formed around her forehead. White, elbow-length
gloves sprang into being. Her twin, up-swept ponytails undid themselves,
then reformed into hair balls with trailing tails. Red gems appeared
in each of the balls.

Dexter was distracted
from the transformation sequence by the corny music the computer
was playing. “Computer! What is that infernal racket emanating
from the audio waveform replicators?!”

The computer
sounded almost apologetic. “I’m sorry, Dexter. File analysis
indicated that the Sailor Scout Transformation Sequence be accompanied
by the appropriate background music.”

The light faded
as Dee Dee slowly floated back down and assumed the Passe Releve
position. She then took a pose straight from the cartoon. “Beware,
evil-doers! I am the champion of Love and Justice, Sailor-D! In
the name of the Moon, I will punish you!”

Dexter slapped
a hand over his face as he groaned, “The lengths to which
I go for a little peace and quiet…” He stomped
over to the ludicrously, er, heroically posed girl and
pushed her towards the exit. “Yeah, yeah! Go fight for Love
and Justice somewhere else!”

Dee Dee swiveled
her head back and forth. “Wait! I sense Evil from
the Negaverse!”

Dexter kept pushing,
but was no longer making any headway. “You are obviously
mistaken. My laboratory is equipped with the most modern
and advanced sensing and early detection devices. It is
patently impossible that anyone could enter without my express
approval.” He conveniently ignored the fact that Dee Dee
had nearly free access to the lab at all hours.

A small explosion
of smoke occurred in the lab. As the smoke cleared, Dexter’s arch-nemesis
Mandark could be discerned.

He raised his
arms; one hand assumed a claw-like form as the other clutched
a gun of some kind. “HA, HA HA! HA, HA HA, HA HA! With my
new Matter Transmogrifier Gun, I can transform ordinary objects
into monsters! They’ll drain all the power from Dexter’s
Lab to power my new secret weapon to take over the world! HA,
HA HA! HA, HA HA, HA HA!”

Mandark pointed
the gun at a near-by mousebot. One zap transformed the small,
rodent-like robot into a large, deformed monster. It roared and
stuck a hand toward a nearby bank of machinery. A spark of electricity
quickly turned to large bolts as the energy was stripped from
the rapidly melting devices.

Dexter slapped
his hands to either side of his face in horror. “AH!! My
mousebot!” He shook a fist at Mandark. “Mandark! You
fiend!”

Dee Dee sucked
in her breath. “The Man-Dark General from the Negaverse!”
She reassumed her pose. “Hold, evil-doer! No one destroys
Dexter’s Lab but me! In the name of the Moon, I will punish
you!”

Mandark noticed
Dee Dee. His knees grew weak and hearts formed in his eyes. “Sailor
Deeeeeeee!!!” He shook his head to clear his thoughts. “So,
Sailor-D! You may be Champion of Love and Justice, but you are
no match for the power of – MANDARK! Master of Evil and Tyranny!
You will not halt my reign of terror! Get her!”

The monster moved
to attack, shooting bolts of lightning at the girl.

Dee Dee did a
Penche Arabesque as a few bolts passed harmlessly by. From there,
she leapt into a Grand Jete as more bolts passed underneath.

Mandark looked
on in horror. “No, you fool! Don’t hurt her! Just get
her!” The hearts were back in his eyes. “Sailor Deeeeee!”

The monster paused
at these conflicting orders, unsure how to accomplish them. It
uttered a low grunting noise as it scratched its metal head in
confusion.

Dee Dee seized
the opportunity. She took the tiara from her forehead and spun
around. “MOON! TIARA! ACTION!” She released the glowing,
rapidly spinning tiara. It shot straight for the monster, giving
a metallic clank as it bounced off.

The monster patted
itself down, but found no damage.

Dee Dee bit her
tongue, thinking as she tapped her chin. “Hmm… AH!”
She grabbed Dexter by the back of his lab coat. “MOON! BOUNCER!
ACTION!” She heaved her little brother at the monster. Smoke
filled the lab as it exploded violently. The smoke cleared to
reveal a tattered and blackened Dexter sitting amidst the pieces
of his robot.

He sniffled sadly,
“My mousebot!”

Mandark drew
his cloak around him. “You have won this time, Sailor-D!
But I shall return, and then the world shall be mine! Ha,
Ha Ha! Ha, Ha Ha, Ha Ha!” He leapt into the air, disappearing
at the apex of his leap.

Dee Dee bit her
tongue, thinking again. “I need to find the other Scouts!”

That’s it for chapter 1; see you next time
as Sailor-D sets out to find the other Scouts and save the world
from the Man-Dark General!