Dexter’s Laboratory Porn Story: The Pepsi Challenge – Chapter 1

“Dexter’s Laboratory” is copyright (C)1996 by Hanna-Barbera
Productions and Cartoon Network. Pepsi is a registered trademark
of PepsiCo, Inc. and the Pepsi-Cola Company.

I don’t own “Dexter’s Laboratory”, I didn’t make
the characters, and I’m not trying to make money on this, so please
don’t sue me. Ditto for Pepsi.

Dexter’s Laboratory: The Pepsi Challenge

by Joe Fenton

Chapter 1: Let’s Do Lunch

Lunch at Huber Elementary…
just an ordinary day like any other. Dee Dee, Mee Mee, and Lee
Lee occupy the end of one table, eating lunch together as is their
custom; Dee Dee has a Pony Puff lunch box, Mee Mee has a Unicorn
lunch box, and Lee Lee has a Koosalagoopagoop lunch box. In synchronized
motions, the three open their lunch boxes to reveal identical
lunches: peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a can of Pepsi.
All three pull the tabs in unison, but Dee Dee’s breaks off. She
stares at it a second, disconsolately.

“Now what do I do?”

Mee Mee hikes a thumb toward
the “geeks” table; “yo, Dee Dee; your brother’s
like a genius. Maybe he can open it.”

They all tromp up behind Dexter,
who is drinking his milk.

“Dexter!” “Dexter!”
“Dexter!” All three chimed in behind him. Milk sprays
from Dexter’s mouth as he jumps a foot.

“Dee Dee, Lee Lee, Mee Mee!”
He points to them in turn. “How many times have I told you
not to do that?”

All three start talking, trying
to come to a consensus.

“Enough!” Dexter
breaks into their discussion. “Never mind. What do you want?”

Dee Dee holds out her Pepsi.
“The tab thingy broke off; can you open it?”

Dexter puffs himself up smugly,
“But of course! Am I not Dexter – Boy Genius?” He jumps
up on the table and pulls forth the ever-present wrench which
he holds aloft, the harsh cafeteria light gleaming off it majestically.

Mandark, hearing the altercation,
has come up on his other side. “You fool! Your insignificant
implement is incapable of extricating that errant opener. Step
aside and let a real genius show you how it’s done!”
At that, he pulls a 300 megawatt gas-dynamic laser from his lunch
sack.

“No Mandark! That will destabilize
the molecular cohesion of the carbonation of the soda!” He
makes a grab for the laser.

Dee Dee looks on in confusion.
“Huh?”

Dexter roll’s his eyes. “It’ll
go flat.”

Dee Dee pulls back the soda.
“No way!”

Mandark turns infatuated eyes
her way. “Never fear, Dee Dee my love. I’d never allow a
drop of flat soda to pass those divine lips I long to touch.”

Dee Dee pulls back in horror
while Mee Mee and Lee Lee squeal. “Dee Dee’s got a boy-friend!”

Mee Mee and Lee Lee start to
dance around Dee Dee singing “Dee Dee and Mandark, sitting
in a tree…” while Dee Dee fumes and sputters.

“No way! Groooosss! I’d
never! …”

Meanwhile, Dexter and Mandark
increase their struggle over the laser.

“Let go!”

“Careful, you fool!”

“It’s my laser!”

All of a sudden, the laser discharges,
burning right through the ceiling and up through the sky.

Mandark fumes, “Now look
what you did!”

“It’s your fault!”

“No, yours!”

Meanwhile, far out in space, a cruiser
for an advanced race of warriors holds position, quite coincidentally,
directly over Huber Elementary. The leader is holding a valuable
artifact which just happens to look like a really bad vase.

“Finally! The Pre-Corsallian
Vessel is mine! With this, I shall win the Imperial throne and
rule the galaxy!”

Still quite coincidentally, Mandark’s
laser beam strikes the ship’s internal gravity control pod. The
whole ship lurches and he drops the vase, which shatters most
spectacularly.

The leader looks as shattered
as the vase. “The Pre-Corsallian Vessel!!!” He looks
hopelessly at the mess a moment, then turns red with rage. “They
will pay for this outrage!” He turns to the scanning
technician, “locate the source of the attack immediately!”

Back in Huber Elementary, Dexter
and Mandark continue to struggle over the laser, when suddenly,
a holographic image forms above them. The image practically radiates
anger.

“Attention insignificant
worms – your unprovoked attack on our ship has earned an agonizing,
searing death!” Dexter lets go of the laser suddenly and
Mandark quickly slips it behind his back, trying to look innocent.
“To demonstrate how pathetic any attempt at defense will
be, we will now destroy the closest facility we have detected
capable of any retaliation.” The image shifts to become Mandark’s
home and surrounding lab; a flash of light and small mushroom
cloud suddenly replaces it.

“My laboratory!” Mandark
wails.

The image returns to the alien
leader. “You now have 30 of your earth minutes until we destroy
the rest of your pathetic world!” The image fades away to
nothing as pandemonium takes over in the cafeteria.

Mandark stops crying and turns
a haughty look toward Dexter, “At least this should demonstrate
whose laboratory is superior.”

“Yes, of course it is obviously
mine. I had the intelligence to conceal my laboratory.”

“You fool! Mine is… err…
was.”

Dee Dee breaks into their argument.
“Dexter, what are we going to do?”

Dexter looks thoughtful for a
moment. “We should head over to my lab and see what we can
do to stop the aliens before the world is destroyed.”

Dee Dee looks confused, “What
aliens? I meant what are we going to do about my soda?”

Dexter rolls his eyes a moment,
then strikes a dramatic pose. “To the lab!”

That’s it for chapter 1; see you next time as Dexter and all
our other would-be heroes set out to save the world!