Dexter’s Laboratory Porn Story: Dimensional Terror – Chapter 4

This is part two of a ten-part story, which is designed to publish a new chapter every month, leading up to November 2001 when the new “Dexter’s Laboratory” episodes finally premiere. The intent is to keep DL fans (and myself) interested in the show while we wait out the unending torment we must suffer until November.
I’m REALLY REALLY sorry this part took me so long! It’s the end of the school year so I’ve been extremely busy. But here it is at last, so enjoy!
“Dexter’s Laboratory” is Y 1996 Hanna-Barbera Productions and Cartoon Network.
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A detached echo hit him, almost inaudible, as he wrenched on the box. It was but a tiny blip in the rhythmic sounds of his laboratory and all its contents, but felt out of place just enough to make him look up from his work for a solitary second. Still, as he scanned the chamber, nothing stirred, no lights flashed out of sequence, and no screens items changed. Even Monkey was sleeping soundlessly at the bottom of hi cage. So Dexter shrugged, and placed his hand back on the wrench.

He had been toiling almost ceaselessly since returning home from school, with only a minor break to eat a snack. It was probably nearing dinnertime, he figured, and Mom would soon be coming to his room to fetch him. Instinctively his hand toggled the security cameras to display the entrance to his bedroom. The door was closed and all looked desolate in what he could see of the hallway and stairs.

Something unsettled him about that, though- the silence and stillness. Now that he thought about it, he had had no interruptions since he went for a snack. He was almost done with the initial construction of the project, and the research and development time on it had been exponentially shorter than average. Everything was functioning thus far, and nothing was out of place. It could all indicate only one thing.

DEE DEE! he howled, spinning around and crouching to a defensive stance. An innocent breeze of air brushed past him. The laboratory remained motionless and no unusual shadows revealed themselves.

Dexter scratched at his fiery hair. Thats strange, he muttered to himself. Dee Dee should have been pestering me hours ago. Once more he flipped through the surveillance cameras till a view of Dee Dees door came on the screen. It was slightly ajar- just enough that he could see the pink ruffles of her canopy bed and an avalanche of stuffed animals and dolls devouring her floor space. He activated the Dee Dee-Scan switch on the console before him, and it began to whir.

Green letters lit up on the monitor. Ninety-eight percent certainty Dee Dee is not in the laboratory, it read.

Computer, why arent you talking today? Oh, never mind. Ill have to fix you later. He shuffled back to the workbench. I have more important things to attend to especially without Dee Dee around.

I still cant believe the nerve of Mandark, thinking he could defy the order of the very universe! That he could doubt what he saw there, thinks he can change it Disgusting.

He pulled the wrench away- it was finally done. At last, he smirked. Now to install this piece, and it will be ready for testing.

He all but pranced to the large box- the cannibalized time machine, with several new additions- and curled up to fit inside. The transport area, where the person would stand to use the machine, was only a few inches taller than he was, and just barely wider. His hopes were that the dimensions of the box would avert Dee Dee from using it. It was so much more serene without her around, swinging from the circuitry and crashing into delicately calibrated instruments with all the subtlety of a warhead. He shuddered at the very thought and hugged the interior of the transport protectively. Or tried. Dont worry, my darling. Dee Dee will never hurt you! Lying on his back, he began the rigorous process of installing the box into the transport.

Dexter.

Good to hear you working again, but not now, Computer, Dexter scowled, and continued his task of soldering wires. Should he call Mandark and have him come witness the first example of how fallible his theory was, or should he test it out- just in case? No, there was no need to test it out. He could not possibly be wrong! Today was his lucky day! What a fine day for science!

Dexter.

He sighed. Computer, Im busy. Youll have to wait. All was quiet once more as he wrenched away.

Listen up, you twisted little pigmy! Stop extolling your virtues and worshiping yourself and listen to me before I completely obliterate every single one of your alleged inventions one by one!

With much bravado, Dexter slowly laid down the welding torch beside him, folded his hands in his lap, and scooted out of the box. He looked up to Computers screen with patronising eyes and calmly asked, Yeees?

All right, Dexter, listen up. Im going to try to explain this in a way that even your feeble brain can comprehend it.

Suddenly a scowl crossed Dexters face. Hey, you dont sound like Computer!

A dramatic sigh rasped through Computers ventilators. Be quite and listen to me, Dork-ster.

Dee Dee! Dexter cried. Get out of my Computer!

If you would just shut up and listen to me Id explain! the voice in Computer hugged. First of all, I am not that effervescent angel. Its me- Mandark!

Dexter screamed.

What do you think you are doing in my lab? Get out of here right now before I sic my robots on you! If you think you are going to learn the secrets of my laboratory by trying to get Computer to tell you, oh boy, do you have another thing coming!

DEXTER! SHUT UP!

Dexter scowled and folded his arms in front of him. Why didnt he recognise that irritating voice from the start? That dirty rat! Hed do just about anything to get into Dexters lab! All right, Mandark. What do you want this time?

Thank you. He cleared his throat with a considerable degree of authority that only deepened Dexters frown. After our little discussion in class today, I decided to conduct an experiment.

In my lab? Dexter retorted, but got quiet again.

So I entered the fourth dimension and proved that there is no one set course of action for the future to take. Since Dexter didnt oppose- vocally, anyway; his jaw had fallen and his eyes were fuming- Mandark continued. Dont be surprised that I was right, Dexter. Deep down you know I will always be better than you.

You shut up! the stocky boy cried. Im gonna turn you off if you dont tell me what youre doing here right now!

Mandark chuckled to himself. Right now, Im waiting for you to quit whining so I can finish my explanation. Dexter was visibly broiling, but he stayed quiet. I was on my over here to show you proof when I got sucked into an alternate dimension.

And just how are you so certain that it was an alternate dimension?

I was twenty-seven years old and married to your sister. Dexters face contorted to a look of shock. I couldnt quite see the fourth dimension there, but the surroundings had similar qualities. It was our wedding anniversary, and we were having dinner together, and oh, she was so beautiful-

Whatever! I dont want to hear about your sick and twisted fantasies about my stupid sister! Get to the point.

In a huff, Mandark snapped, Fine, I wont tell you about you and Olga, if youre going to be that way about it. A squeak escaped Dexters mouth but Mandark rushed along. So anyway, I got out of that time frame and into some other-

Wait a minute! What about me and Olga?

Stop interrupting me!

Dexter glanced over to the nearby wall; the electrical plug jutting out from it was becoming all too tempting. Fine, fine, tell me what happened in this second world.

Umm.. Dee Dee and I were going to take over the world, thats all. There was no need for Dexter to hear the whole story. Then I was back in Russia, but it was still the Soviet Union, and my wife was watching these horrible Santa Barbara reruns, and-

Mandark stopped as he noticed Dexters raised eyebrows and disapproving glare. Does this have a point? the shorter boy asked. He was getting tired of listening to the computer with Mandarks voice; he wanted to finish his project.

Yeah, yeah. Then you and me and Dee Dee and Olga were rulers of the universe and our little temple started collapsing and then the next thing I know Im stuck inside your stupid computer.

A likely story, grumbled Dexter. Do you mean youre tangled up in the circuitry, or what? Im sure I could get you out within a matter of minutes- for the right price

No, no, no. You dont understand. Im in the computer.

Picking up a screwdriver from a nearby workbench, Dexter eased his way towards the tower of blue command modules that kept his lab functioning. Of course, Mandark, he said soothingly. Whatever you say. This will just take a moment

As promptly as Dexter had locked the head into the screws notch on the faceplate of one piece of equipment, the box disappeared as if it had never existed.

Hey! What the heck do you think you are doing? Dexter gasped.

Getting your attention. Dont try to trick me; so long as I exist in the computer, I can control everything attached to it through the plane of time. Ill make something else cease to be- to have never been created- if you wont get me out.

Dexter let the screwdriver clatter to the cold floor. What-ever. He wouldnt have admitted it, but he was terribly confused. What do you want me to do about it?

Though I realise your little mind may be incapable of this task, I want you to build a device to get my consciousness out of your computer and back into the third dimension with my body.

Now Dexter could really feel his blood boiling inside his skin. And suppose I dont want to help you?

Thats easy. I make it as though your lab was never created.

Ooh, why dont you just go back to whatever portal thingy you used to get in there? He was growing tired of hearing that jerks voice coming out of his precious Computer. Oh, poor Computer! How he hated for her to have to suffer through this!

An angry growl burst through the speakers. You think I havent already tried that? It seems I only have control over things immediately connected to your computer. Which, by the way, is very poorly designed. It was Dexters turn to growl now. Now get me out of here before I destroy that thing over there that you were working on! Dexter looked around; pointed questioningly to the tracker he had abandoned. Yes, that!

Go right ahead, Dexter barked. Thats probably your only way out. There was a rattling noise from Computer as Mandark quivered with rage. But since Im such a gracious scientist, he added, picking up a wrench, Ill see what I can do.

Grumbling irately to himself, Dexter began reconnecting some wires on the exterior of the dimensional tracker. He had to adjust it into some kind of portal that would yank Mandark from the fourth dimension with as little damage to Computer as possible. That fool! He had created the tracker to begin with so he could prove Mandark wrong, not to save him! Still maybe after he got the intellectual inferior pulled out, perhaps Mandark would be indebted to him. Yes, he could already see the jerk sweeping Dexters lab, washing out test tubes and cleaning Monkeys cage that would be most excellent a sight.

Okay, I think Ive got it now, Dexter declared, stepping inside the transport cube. I just have to adjust one more thing. He slid open the internal compartment and snapped two wires together. There.

The transport began bouncing around and shaking; a whirring sound of motors being activated grew. Dexter blinked in horror as he noted that he was squished inside the transport area. Oh, no.

With a loud zap, he flashed out of being, into a swirling ominous void. He stretched across the canyon of time, then felt himself snap back together and abruptly crash face-first onto a concrete walkway.

Well, Mandark said, looking down at Dexter with a perplexed frown, you got me out of Computer, at least

Oh, shut up and help me up.

Gingerly, as though he were handling a dead rat, Mandark plucked the smaller boy up by one gloved hand and set him upright. Now what, Dorkster?

They stopped and examined their surroundings. They appeared to be standing on a sidewalk, suspended in air, that curved and twisted through mellow darkness towards a low building of yellow stucco and brown rocks with numerous flashing neon signs adorning the walls. Though the building seemed very much alive, there werent any indications that anyone besides the two rivals was nearby.

Well, is this the fourth dimension? Dexter asked as he brushed himself off.

Mandark held his hand before him and waved it a few times. No, it doesnt appear to be. My hypothesis would be that we are in another alternate reality. Good job, Dorkster.

Hey, maybe if you hadnt been so impatient, I would have had time to test this thing a few times before I had to come rescue you!

Maybe if you were a half-decent scientist, you would have built it right the first time!

And maybe if you had half the brains I have, you wouldnt have gotten stuck in my computer to begin with!

Both boys were glaring at each other, their faces turning red and fists forming. They allowed themselves to tremble with rage for a few seconds before Mandark let out an exhaustive sigh.

Im too tired for this senseless bickering. Were going to have to work together if were going to find a way out of here.

We could go to that building over there and ask where we are, Dexter offered.

Mandark looked over in the direction of the outpost. It reminded him of something out of a 60s sitcom, with its hideous stone faade and the thin, slightly sloped flat roof. Still, he could see nothing down the other way of the winding path, and he didnt dare peer over the edge to see what was below. Very well. Lets go.

Charons Limbo Lounge, Dexter read, when they got close enough to read the flashing sign. What the heck is that all about?

Mandark shivered and decided hed rather not find out. Hed had about all the unpleasant surprises he could handle in one day. The boys bobbed up to the front door and peered at it expectantly.

What are you waiting for? Mandark asked, after an uneasy silence. Go on in.

Dexter squeaked his gloves together nervously. Oh, no. You go ahead.

I couldnt possibly. Go in! The metal semicircular handle fixed to the thick door bounced a warped reflection back at Mandark, giving him the chills. Hed rather not find out how he looked in this dimension.

No, you go! Dexter began to shove on Mandarks knees.

Scooping his hand behind Dexter and pushing him forward, he objected, No, you go!

You!

You!

You!

You!

You!

You!

HELLO!

Both boys shrieked and clung to each other, Dexter practically in Mandarks arms, then spun to the speaker standing in the now-open doorway. They quickly released one another and made disgusted faces. The man- if he was a man, anyway- wore a tuxedo with a white carnation in the lapel to complement his satiny red blazer. He did look human in the face, except for a bluish hue accenting his skin from underneath the thick black hair slicked back meticulously.

Hi, boys, Im Charon, and welcome to my limbo lounge! The next boat wont be leaving for a while, so go on in and have yourself some drinks. The boys only stared and blinked, so he put an arm around each and guided them inside. You two look a little fresh to be here, he observed, leading them through a harvest gold hallway. He pinched Dexters cheek and stretched it way out before letting it snap back. Let me guess- dimensional travellers?

Wow, gushed Dexter, how did you know?

When youve been doing this as long as I have, you learn these things.

Mandark cleared his throat. I hate to interrupt, but would you mind telling us where we are, and how we get out of here?

Isnt it obvious? Charons lips spread broadly across his face. Youre in limbo!

With a gasp, Dexter squeaked, You mean like

Like purgatory? Yep, the one and only! Its a shame you two didnt really die, but so long as youre here

Now Mandark gasped uncomfortably. So long as were here, what?

A proud grin covered Charons face. Well, you know what they say. Theres only one way out of limbo! Well, actually, two

Dexter started to look even paler than usual, and Mandark felt nauseous.

That doesnt sound very fair though, does it, since you two didnt actually die. So Ill cut you the same deal I make with all our dimensional travellers. You find another way out of here, and youre free to go to whatever dimension you please. Whenever you give up, though, Ill be ready to take you on down the river. He stopped; they had reached a large red atrium with concentric half-crescents of tables and booths all leading down to a dance floor that faced a stage. Well, here we are, pick a seat. Hey, thats pretty catchy! Take you on down the river, pick you a seat he sang, snapping his fingers and meandering off towards the stage.

Mandark and Dexter gave each other looks. Not looks of anger, or pride, or arrogance, but for perhaps the first time ever, true questioning looks of total helplessness.

Well, Dexter swallowed, lets sit down.

They spotted a booth hidden in the shadows near the bar to the right of the stage. The seats were soft velvet, but the cushions were hardened from countless derrieres of the dead that had graced them over the centuries immemorial. The tabletop bounced their virile reflections back at them.

Mandark leaned over the table to speak in a hushed voice. Do you have any ideas?

Me? What about you? This is all your fault to begin with. Dexter traced his hand along a water stain on the tabletop.

Going on the defensive, Mandark lifted his head. I wasnt the one who messed up the invention-

This is quite enough, and will not get us anywhere.

Mandark sighed and hung his head. He hated to admit it, but the whole ordeal was just as much his fault as Dexters, if not more. All right. Well work together on this, just long enough to get us both out of here. He grudgingly extended a hand over the table. Deal?

Dexter shook his hand curtly. Deal. Both boys retracted their hands and rubbed them on their shirts. Now then. I have a theory that each alternate timeline and what-have you is relative to a set fourth-dimensional frequency.

Oh, thats ridiculous, Mandark cried. Youre still clinging to the idea that time is impermeable-

No, no, no, Dexter cut him off. No fighting!

I never agreed to not correct your glaring mistakes-

Two milkshakes slammed down in front of them. Can I get you anything else

The pair looked up to the waitress- she looked and acted like a lifeless zombie in a pink dress- and blinked. No energy or enthusiasm was left in the poor woman (if that was what she really was), not because she was bored with her job, but rather because she was well undead.

She peered back at them in response, darkened eyes squinting. Hey youre alive, arent you. Nothing was a question with this lady; it was all she could do to even be monotonous. Hey, everybody, she called, just barely louder than her spoken voice, weve got some real people here.

There were mellow shuffling sounds as numerous other patrons dragged themselves to their feet to jadedly marvel at the specimens.

Wow. Youre real.

I forget what it was like.

Yay.

Dexter tugged at his collar. Thats great. But if you dont mind, wed like to be left alone, please.

They mumbled incoherencies and all staggered off- including the waitress.

I was going to get some food, Mandark lamented. Im famished.

His diminutive cohort, however, was not paying attention. Dexter was fishing around in his pocket with a look of consternation on his face. Ah, here we go, he announced, pulling a large box-shaped device from his pocket. Now my idea is-

Wait a minute, Mandark shrieked as Dexter plopped it onto the table. The object was most definitely a controller, a black box with a silver dial on it and a counter that resembled a slot machine. Youve had that thing all along?

Dexter looked down at I sheepishly. Well, yes, I guess I did He chuckled nervously under Mandarks furious stare.

Never mind that. How do we use it?

Well, Dexter frowned, spinning the dial, as I was explaining, this device is capable of changing the dimensional frequency of the person using it. Unfortunately, I have no idea what the right frequency for our world is.

Scoffed Mandark, No surprise there.

You be quiet. So my plan, he continued explaining, is to have you wait here while I fid the right frequency for our world. Then Ill come back here and get you, and- He stopped suddenly. What would keep him from just leaving Mandark here?

Apparently Mandark had been struck with the same notion, though, for he said, And whats my guarantee that youll come back for me?

Why, umm you trust me, dont you? He smiled. I mean, Im the good guy of the two of us. You know I would never think- Hey!

Mandark had snatched his glasses away and was dangling them high above the table. Try as he might, there was no way Dexters stubby arms could reach. These are my insurance, Mandark explained. That youll come back for me.

But I cant see anything!

You can see well enough to tell what world youre in, and that good enough for me.

Dexter reluctantly climbed down from his seat in the booth. Fine. Let me set the frequency for this place so I can come back for you.

Wait a minute. You can set it to remember frequencies? Dexter nodded in the affirmative. Why didnt you set it when you were back in the real world? I mean, you would have needed it eventually, wouldnt you?

Astounded, Dexter could only offer a goofy smile. Well I guess I didnt think about it

Yet again, Mandark sighed, and tried to get comfortable in the booth. He was going to be there for a while. Whatever, you dimwitted dormouse. Just get going.

With a self-preserving sniff, Dexter straightened up and gave the controllers dial a random spin. Then he was gone.

He had landed flat on his back on a cold tile floor- he was making a lot of uncomfortable landings lately, he noticed with dejection- staring submissively at the rows of hazy fluorescent lights overhead. It was certainly not his laboratory, but there was the unmistakable smell of sterilising soap and science wafting in and out of his nostrils. Thanks to that dufus Mandark he couldnt make out anything beyond that.

But of course Im certain my equations are all balanced, a familiar voice came from the other end of the room. Dexter scampered to his feet and headed towards the sound.

Dexter, they dont look right to me Of course! The first voice sounded familiar because it was himself- his future self. The second speaker, though, made him cringe. He knew that voice as well, and he didnt like it one bit.

Just do it for me, Mandark, and Ill keep my end of the bargain. I have other homework I need to be working on. You do want that date with my sister, dont you?

What was this? He was bribing Mandark to do his work for him? Unheard of! What on earth had possessed his future self to do such a thing? Hey, what do you think you are doing? Dexter shouted, waving his arms, but the two men did not appear to notice him at all- from what he could see of their blurred features, anyway. Stupid Mandark.

Well all right, he heard the older Mandark sigh. Fine. Ill do your work.

Great, roomie! See ya later! Booted feet stormed past him in a rush. Dexter almost yelled at himself to watch where he was going, but decided to follow him instead.

They flew from the science lab and trotted down a metal staircase. Hey, you! Can you hear me? the little Dexter called. The tall one made no response. When he had gone to the future a few weeks ago, he had certainly been able to communicated with his future selves. Why was this different?

Ive got to get away before it blows! the older boy cackled with glee to himself.

WHAT? Little Dexter stumbled and rolled down the remaining stairs, right out the door on the heels of his counterpart.

Tricking Mandark into blowing up the lab is a brilliant way to get the school to build a new, better, high-tech one! Dexter continued to brag to himself. Im even more of a genius than I used to be!

As they ran down a neatly-kept sidewalk, the young Dexter looked up to survey the lush fields and twisted gothic buildings looming around him beneath the thick cloud cover. It was evening, he believed, though the sun could not be seen. Persons of perhaps seventeen to thirty years of age roamed around without a care, many swinging backpacks, some with paint sets, and others just lounging around in the grass, munching on their dinners. None gave either of the Dexters a second glance.

Blow up the science lab so the school would build a new one and place the blame on Mandark, too? I really am pretty brilliant!

He followed the tall Dexter into a dormitory, up the staircase to the second floor, and down a dim hallway. He stopped before a door with a large paper sign on it. The word Room could easily be distinguished; the rest of it, not so obvious. It appeared that the names Dexters and Mandarks had been written and scratched out many, many times.

The older Dexter threw the door open and slid underneath the bed on the right side of the room. Younger Dexter had been expecting a neat, orderly room but instead was total chaos of lab coats, textbooks, beakers and jars, posters, electronic gadgets, computers and coffee mugs, all quietly parted by an innocuous red strip of tape running through the centre of the floor and up the walls. Such childish measures were surely necessary when trying to coexist with Mandark.

Hey, you! Come out of there! Cant you see me? He flapped his arms and jumped up and down in front of the bed, rather resembling a penguin trying to fly. Hello?

No response came from the Dexter under the bed, so he stuck his head down there as well. Hey! Can you see me?

The silence was broken as a loud blast rattled the windowpane and sent some mugs still half-full of coffee to their demise on the floor. The Dexter under the bed began snickering madly.

I think Id better get out of here, the other Dexter concluded. He held the controller directly before him so he could read the dial, twisted it at random, and clicked the button. He compacted into a tiny glitch on the smooth plane of time.

Mandark turned the glasses in his hand, noting with particular distaste that they were of the same brand and model as his. Probably the same prescription, too. He slid his pair down on his nose and held Dexters up to his face. Everything looked clear as ever.

His vanilla milkshake (which had taken a good forty-five minutes to order and another half hour or so to receive) was terribly bland and lifeless, which he supposed shouldnt have surprised him, given the mannerisms of the servers here. Is that would become of him if Dexter didnt get back soon? He shuddered and reached for his drink- but a blue-grey shriveled hand snatched his wrist.

How much longer can it last croaked the zombie, the words little more than air coincidentally rushing out of his lungs.

Mandark slowly turned, hesitant to yank his arm away for fear the mans brittle hand might break off with such a movement. I beg your pardon?

You think youre all that just coz youre still alive. But just you wait

Well, he explained, the average male American resident has a life span of about seventy years but his audience had slumped over onto the floor.

Youll have to excuse them, Charon called, as he rushed towards the booth with two men bearing a stretcher. When theyve been waiting for the ferry a while they start to get a little bitter.

Mandark watched as the partially-animated cadaver was loaded onto the stretcher. Do they continue to look like that, after you take them on the Styx?

Charon only gave him a sly simper. That depends where I take them, son. He straightened his carnation, then headed back for the stage.

Mandark gave a resigned scowl, then absently began sketching quantum equations into the tabletop.

I get the feeling Ive been here before, Dexter frowned as he looked around the grimy cubicle. Yes, it was definitely the same prison he had visited only a few weeks back but didnt look nearly so condemning yet. There were newspaper clippings on the walls, photographs, company bulletins; the desk was a little bigger, and a tiny cabinet sat in the corner.

The entrance to the cubicle slid open and Dexter instinctively dived under the desk.

Im glad you could eat lunch with me, dear, snorted a highly obnoxious voice. You know, starting next week, I cant leave my cubicle for lunch break.

How is he doing as president? questioned an equally irritating female.

Black pants legs scooted under the desk, sending him scurrying to one side of the confine as the man sat down. Oh, hes just fine. He said hes going to give me a promotion soon- head of cubicle design!

What? squealed the Dexter under the desk. You fool! Mandarks gonna beat you up and take over the world! Cant you hear me? He crawled out and leaped up on the desktop between a dorky-looking older version of himself and the girl. That girl! No! It couldnt be! It was!

He screamed dramatically.

Olga, explained the older Dexter, staring right through the younger one, who was fainting ostentatiously on the desk, Im afraid I still dont know when we can get married.

She looked down at her hands and sniffled sadly. But its been a year since we got engaged. We havent even started to plan the wedding!

I know, dear. But with all these changes your brother is making, I just dont know

While tearing into a packet of goo, Olga noted, He still hasnt recovered, has he?

Of course not. She was the only thing he loved more than power, dont you know. And she was my sister, after all. He pouted. But theres no questioning the government. Whats with the numbering thing theyre supposed to be instituting next year, anyway?

Olga wiped her nose on her sleeve and adjusted her glasses, which were taped together in the middle. At least I still have you.

They both snorted, embarrassed. Aw, shucks. Olga leaned over and they kissed briefly before pulling away with reddened cheeks. The older Dexter giggled.

Oh, please, this is pathetic, the other Dexter grumbled and jumped down from the desk (though he had some difficulty seeing the floor). Im getting out of here. Sick, sick, sick! Not only was he bowing to Mandarks every whim, he was in love with that repulsive jerks sister?

He spun the dial and faded away far too slowly for his tastes.

Charon and his band of zombie-like jazz players fell far short of entertaining. The Latin lounge music itself was all right, but the musicians, save Charon himself, had no sense of rhythm and kept falling asleep in the middle of a phrase. Charon was a bearable singer, though, and didnt mind too terribly that his band was awful- most the patrons couldnt hear it anyway.

Mandark, unfortunately, was part of that minority that could, and at intervals he had to cringe and cover his ears in order to preserve his sanity. Two hours had passed since Dexter left to seek out the real world, but each passing second was like a million years of a slow, agonising death. There were still no indications that he would ever return; at this point, Mandark was devising countless theories about the two-faced jerk finding the real world, and getting a new pair of glasses destroying Mandarks lab oh, it was too much.

Service around the place was lousy, though he realised he shouldnt expect much from a dead waiting staff. Even back home in Russia, when they had gone to dinner at a fancy establishment that took nearly three hours to prepare the food- and the Nomenoffs were the only customers in the whole place!- the service had been more attentive than this. He wasnt sure how much real-world time had passed since he entered the fourth dimension, but for him it seemed days, and he was starved.

Hiya, Man-dork.

He screeched and curled into a fetal ball, clutching his knees.

Oh, get over it. She slipped into the other side of the booth, black pigtails bouncing as she did so. Im not here to beat you up- yet, anyway.

With much apprehension he let himself unravel. Very well. What do you want? How did you get here? Youre not he gasped. Dead, are you?

What are you talking about? No, Im not dead, loser. She frowned. Moms pissed at you for missing dinner, so she sent me to find you. Naturally, I checked your lab, and this stupid thing with the big ring that I had messed with earlier was still on.

Olga! What do you mean, you messed with it earlier?

She gave him a haughty look. I was bored, so I spun some of the dials on it. Focus, triggers

Triggers? You mean to tell me that its your fault that every time I bleed, I change universes?

Somehow the stocky girl found this uproariously funny, not even so much because she had caused her brother such trouble but the prospect that a drop of blood could alter the destiny of worlds amused her greatly. All the more indication to him that she would become a mercenary some day. He scowled at her and folded his arms.

He then watched, aggravated, as the waitress came by to give Olga a glass of water, but walked away as soon as he pointed to his mostly-empty milkshake glass.

Anyway, I went through the damn thing- I mean, I didnt want Mom blaming me for your disappearance or anything- and I was in this freaky world that was all swirly and melted. It was really trippy.

Mandark nodded knowingly after pausing to process the slang. That would be the fourth dimension.

So I went outside, she continued loudly, glaring at him for interrupting, coz I didnt see you anywhere in the house- I mean, there were lots of yous, but they were all faded and see-through. It was still raining outside, then next thing I know, Im standing outside Charons Limbo Lounge with big flashy lights. She reached for her water and brought it gradually towards her face. Well, I found you. Mind telling me how the hell we get out of here?

It was raining- wait- STOP! In an instant he was strung across the table clutching her wrist as tightly as he could while she tried to shake him away so she could drink her water.

What is it now, little brother?

His eyes went wide and he fought to keep her from pulling the glass to her lips. If you dont want to get lost in a string of alternate realities forever, DONT drink that water.

She studied him curiously for a moment; it sounded awfully ridiculous, but her brother was never one to joke. Not about alternate realities, in any case. Explain, Olga commanded, still holding her arm taut.

That trigger you messed with. I dont know why I thought it was a good idea when I made the beginnings of that machine about a year ago, but Id completely forgotten about it when I used the device today. What its supposed to do is transport the user back to reality whenever they ingest a specified chemical compound in an alternate dimension. I never got that far on the design, though, and instead modified it to only carry me into the fourth dimension, and when I wanted to leave I only had to walk through the other side of the ring.

She blinked.

So apparently you set it to blood, because when I skinned my knee it sent me to an alternate dimension. Not that he minded the first one, he confessed to himself. But obviously it didnt work as intended, because I kept going to different places. Then it finally did take me back to the present, but I was still in the fourth dimension, and I was stuck inside- no, I was– Dexters computer.

Wait a minute, Olga snapped, going pale. Dexters in on this, too?

Mandark nodded. Its his fault that were at this place. He was trying to get me out of the fourth dimension, and well, I think you can deduce the rest for yourself, knowing Dexter.

Good for you two. Now whats this have to do with me drinking water?

Dont you get it? he cried. Thats what you set your trigger to. Nice job, Lalavava.

Shut up, Astro, or Ill cream you. Mandark sniffed at her contemptuously. So how are we getting out of here anyway, uber-genius?

He seemed to be ignoring her, for she had finally set the drinking glass down and was scowling at the tabletop, twisting one of her pigtails round her hand. Finally he looked up, dangling a pair of glasses before her. Dexters using his controller to try to find the right frequency for our world, and Im holding onto these as collateral until he gets back.

Im proud of you. She paused. Can I swallow?

Only if you want to get lost in the multiverse, he replied with hardly a concern as to whether she did or not, and did not look up from the equation he had just started. How she hated him!

Id been swallowing before you told me about the triggers, and nothing happened.

Had he been writing with a pencil instead of using his finger to make hardly legible smudges on the tabletop, it surely would have snapped. He looked up at her, panic-stricken. What?

Im serious. Saliva has water in it, doesnt it?

Yes, he frowned. Maybe only a high concentration of pure water sets the trigger off. But lets not risk it, just in case.

Fine. There was a silence as she stared wistfully at the glass of water. So what exactly is this place anyway?

He shrugged. Purgatory, home to Charon, boatman of the River Styx. He said were free to leave if we can find a way out, which hopefully the Dorkster is doing right now.

I dont trust him, said Olga.

Neither do I.

He landed yet again on his back, shockwaves searing through him from the impact. When he opened his eyes, he still couldnt see much aside from a prevailing redness; probably never would see more than that until he got his glasses back from that lame brain.

Your most holiest Dex-tor, a voice incanted, ruler of all Dextopia! I most humbly present to you the prisoners you wished brought!

Dexter sat up; rubbed his eyes. It was some sort of massive crimson atrium. At one end huddled blurred subjects and guards, while what could be no one but his other self sat facing them in a high-reaching black throne. Were those skulls carved on it?

Very well, bring them forth.

A guard shoved a dark figure onto the tile before the throne. The scene was too far away for Dexter to see clearly who the prisoner was. The first prisoner calls himself Astro Nomenoff, but he is Prisoner No. 36162.

You certainly look a fool, Dex-tor commented. What is his crime?

Use of science, and plotting to overthrow the sovereignty of Dextopia.

Dex-tor thrust his arms into the air. Execute him!

And you always thought I was the bad guy, the prisoner spat.

Dexter approached the crowd tersely. He was pretty sure they couldnt see him, but with this madness going on, he wasnt taking any chances. This was not an accurate representation of the harmonious Dextopia he had seen a few weeks back! This was an inferno!

The prisoner was definitely Mandark, he ascertained, as he was hauled away. Dexter could tell by the shape of the head. Let it be known that science is forbidden to all but me, Dex-tor, and that I will have no dissention in my kingdom! All shall bow down to my pure genius thrice daily from here on out!

Every single member of the court dropped to their knees and bowed prostrate before him, wanting to get a head start.

All right, you may get up. Who is the second prisoner to defy my rule? He almost sounds as bad as that jerk Mandark when he was Overlord of the world!

Prisoner No. 36163, announced another jailer, dragging forth a scrawny, emaciated woman. She calls herself D.

Please, Dexter, pleaded the girl, but Lord Dex-tor quickly interrupted.

What is her crime?

The guard stared down at her with contempt, then paused for drama. Accomplice to Prisoner No. 36162! he cried.

Execute her! roared Dex-tor. Execute her at once!

The girl flung herself to the ground and started sobbing. But Dexter, please! Its me, your sister! Why are you doing this, Dexter? Whats happened to you?

My name is Dex-tor, he growled. Take her away.

No! all the courtiers and guards cried in unison.

Both Dexter and Dex-tor blinked in disbelief. What? Dex-tor asked.

Were revolting. They all began marching and climbing up the high throne of Dex-tor.

Not again! Stop revolting in my chamber! STOP IT! Guards! Whats your problem this time?

Dexter groaned. Good grief. Im getting back to Mandark so I can see. This is getting absurd!

He twirled the dial back to the only preset frequency- that of Charons Limbo Lounge- and was gone in a flash.

Dexter clattered to the floor before the booth from which he left, and saw Mandarks Oxfords tapping impatiently under the table. Grumpily he pulled himself back to his feet and dusted off his lab coat.

Did you find the right frequency?

No. He looked up and prepared to give Mandark a long scolding about the troubles he had and just about anything else he could think to whine about when he spotted the fuzzy girl staring at him from the other side of the table. Hey, whats she doing here? he demanded, face getting hot.

Mandark shrugged innocently. She came to get me for dinner and ended up here with us.

Snatching his glasses away from Mandark, who was absently twirling them, he slid them back onto his face and sighed with relief. I shouldnt even be helping one Nomenoff. No way am I going to rescue two.

Oh, you can leave her here. Its fine with me, Mandark grinned. Then he howled in pain as Olga slammed her foot into his shin under the table.

Dexter glanced nervously over at Olga. True, she was Mandarks sister, but he seriously doubted they would cooperate long enough to gang up on him. Besides, there was just something about her that he couldnt bring himself to abandon in this Latin lounge purgatory. Nobody deserved that, not even a Nomenoff.

Her balled fists were also pretty difficult to say no to.

Fine. She can come with us whenever we figure out just what it is were going to do. He wearily pulled himself into the booth, sitting next to Olga and opposite Mandark. Any ideas, Mandark?

Mandark opened his mouth, but Olga interrupted. Why dont we try checking the different frequencies together?

Well, its a very strenuous process, Dexter explained. It might not be too safe.

And just what have we got to lose? At least wed be trying to get out of here. Its better than just sitting here, helpless. Mandark slurped up some more of his milkshake.

Dexter looked to Mandark; he appeared very tired, and beat up mentally. Mandarks excursion into the alternate dimensions must have been far more taxing than his own. Then he turned to Olga. Her face was one of confusion, her chubby features almost looking scared. But Olga, afraid? Impossible.

Youre right, relented Dexter. What really have we got to lose? I guess well just keep changing frequencies until we can find the right one. That shouldnt be too hard, no?

Not any worse than what weve already been through, Mandark agreed. He was quite exhausted with playing parts in scripts he did not know.

Dexter leaped from the booth and punched a triumphant fist into the air. Then lets get the heck into the umm whatever universe, and find our way back home! In his own mind, at least, a fanfare played for his valour. Now just gather around me. I think that as long as were all touching when I use the controller, well get transferred en masse.

Olga hopped down from the booth and joined Dexter in the middle of the aisle, reluctantly taking his hand. Just for good measure, she gave him a dirty look. Come on, bro, she called to Mandark, who was finishing off his milkshake.

Just a moment, Im coming! He slurped the last bit into his mouth- it had tasted increasingly better the hungrier he got- and leaped up. Hey, wait! he shouted. Dexter and Olga were already starting to shimmer and fade. Im not ready yet!

But Dexter whined, I didnt push it.

Mandark took a flying leap at the two just as they started to disappear completely. His hand just barely hit one of Olgas pigtails, and for once he was glad to feel the sensation of being ripped limb from limb as they tumbled through the wormhole of time, twisting and turning

They smashed forcefully against a freezing marble floor, Mandark sprawled across his shorter two cohorts. Either it was very dark or else his vision hadnt completely returned, but he could just barely make out Dexters and Olgas shapes.

He scrambled back to his feet and glared at Dexters form. Trying to leave me behind again, Dexter?

I was doing no such thing! the other boy said. I dont know what happened- I didnt turn the dial or anything, but it started transporting us anyway!

So where the hell did we get dumped now, brainiacs? Olga stood up and tried to see beyond the vague arches dipped in shadows.

Dexter was staring at the controller in perplexment. I dont understand! Why did you do that? he begged of it.

In response, a battalion of harsh lighting was suddenly turned on, berating the trio and making them all squint in agony. Whats going on? winced Mandark, while Olga released a surly stream of curses.

Ill take that, announced a man, and he wrenched the controller away from Dexter, threw it too the floor, and smashed a heavy boot onto it.

————
Whew! These chapters are getting insanely long! I’ll do my best to get 5 out on schedule, though…
So now where have the unlikely companions found themselves, and who is this mysterious person determined to keep them put? Can those two boys ever get along? And where the heck did Dee Dee go?!? What about Dee Dee? Find out in Chapter 5 (which is not yet titled yet), coming this June! (Can you tell I’m tired? ^^)

The Mandarkers Society
/mandark