Dexter’s Laboratory Porn Story: Dexters Laboratory Sailor Loon Chapter 3

Dexter’s Laboratory Porn Story: Dexters Laboratory Sailor Loon Chapter 3

Dexter’s Laboratory is copyright (C)1996 by
Hanna-Barbera Productions and Cartoon Network.
Sailor Moon is the property of Takeuchi Naoko and some other folks
such as D.I.C. and Cloverway.

I don’t own Dexter’s Laboratory, I didn’t make
the characters, and I’m not trying to make money on this, so please
don’t sue me. Ditto for Sailor Moon.

Many thanks to my pre-readers, Ben Oliver and
Bill Heinemann.

It’s time for the final showdown between Good
and Evil! Who will survive? Who will show up in another stupid
costume? Who will explain the mess to Mom and Dad? All this and
more in the dramatic conclusion!

Dexter’s Laboratory: Sailor Loon

by Joe Fenton

Chapter 3: Anything Times Zero Is Still
Zero

In a dark corner
of Dexter’s Laboratory, a figure worked on a large shadowy hulk
as he muttered to himself.

“It is up
to me to protect my precious laboratory. Those stupid girls
will just screw things up as usual. But just wait until they behold
my greatest invention to date!” He paused to congratulate
himself. “With this, I shall be invincible! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
He held his hands up like claws as he cackled madly.

****

In a dark corner
of Mandark’s Laboratory, a figure aimed a large weapon at various
items. The view through the scope paused on a ballet slipper,
then moved on to a Darby doll, and finally focused on a Pony Puff
Party Phonograph. The figure mumbled softly, “Mental note
– change code sequences for laboratory access.” The gun moved
on before stopping on something more suited to the task ahead.

“I never
even got the chance to display the power of my new and
improved Matter Transmogrifier Gun, all because of that
insidious imbecile Dexter. But my superior intelligence shall
yet prevail! I shall create my army of dread monsters here
then transport them directly to Dexter’s Lab! Once I have disposed
of my mortal foe, no one will be able to oppose me. I shall rule
supreme!” He held his hands up like claws as maniacal laughter
rang through the lab. “HA, HA HA! HA, HA HA, HA HA!”

****

In a bedroom
illuminated by a soft pink glow, three girls slept on the floor.
Mee Mee occupied a Pony Puff sleeping bag situated directly under
the unicorn poster. Dee Dee occupied the Darby sleeping bag that
lay next to the Darby Townhouse. Lee Lee had the Berry Bears sleeping
bag by the pile of baby stuffed animals. All three dreamed of
fighting for Love and Justice against the forces of evil. Every
once and awhile, one of the girls would giggle softly.

****

In another bedroom,
a short black-haired girl slept uneasily. Why did those three
girls get to have all the fun? Tomorrow, she’d make her stupid
coward of a brother create a transformation pendant for her so
she could join the fun. Naturally, hers would be the best. She
smiled as her thoughts drifted to the more pleasant fantasy of
pounding her worm of a brother.

****

In an imaginary
kingdom somewhere, the king confronted one of his more troublesome
subjects. “Koosalagoopagoop, what have you got to say for
yourself this time?”

Koosalagoopagoop,
commonly called Koosie, stared guiltily at the ornate wall behind
the king. The picture behind the ruler had a small smudge in one
corner. “It’s really hardly noticeable. I’m sure the royal
artist will have no trouble fixing it.”

The king nodded.
“Yes, I’m sure he won’t. I’m referring to the rest of the
castle.” He waved his hand around, emphasizing the fact that
the wall with the portrait was the only one that remained standing.
All the rest lay broken, shattered as support columns had given
way. Plaster dust from the collapsed ceiling still hovered over
much of the site, waiting for the rising wind to abate the choking
clouds. “Well?”

Koosie scratched
the back of his head and laughed nervously. “Heh heh heh
– oops?”

The king’s retainers
groaned and covered their faces. Well, the ones that could actually
move given their bandages, slings, casts, and crutches.
The others just groaned, and not just because of the pain they
were in.

The king cleared
his throat to get everyone’s attention. “Koosalagoopagoop,
you are hereby banished until such time as you can restore your
honor through acts of valor.”

Koosie scratched
his head. “Huh?”

The king slapped
his hand over his face, then stabbed a finger outward. “Get
lost! And don’t come back until you have defeated some evil monster!”

****

Dexter stood
in the middle of his lab, tapping his foot and glaring at nothing
in particular. “What is taking them so long? By my calculations,
they should have been here eight point three five minutes ago.”

Dee Dee popped
up behind Dexter. “Hi!”

Mee Mee popped
up beside her. “Hi!”

Lee Lee popped
up opposite Mee Mee. “Hi!”

Dexter winced
and turned reluctantly. “How did you gain entrance to the
laboratory without my noticing?”

Dee Dee looked
baffled, a familiar expression to Dexter. “What are you talking
about? We’ve been here since breakfast.”

Dexter boggled.
“That is not possible!” He gestured at a row of cryonic-lacteal
synthesizers. “Just observe – not a single unit has been
disturbed in any manner!”

Dee Dee snapped
her fingers. “I knew we forgot something!” She
held aloft her transformation rod. “All right Scouts, we
have prepare for the arrival of the Man-Dark General!”

The other girls
squealed in delight, then held up their own transformation rods.

Dexter pulled
out a pair of ear attenuators and placed them on his head. There
was no way he would be subjected to the transformation background
music again. He waited until the light died before cautiously
lifting one side.

Dee Dee pulled
the attenuators from his head. “All right Dexter. You need
to keep out of our way while we fight the evil forces of the Negaverse.
But first, we need to practice!” She turned to the row of
synthesizers and pointed her scepter. “MOON SCEPTER ELIMINATION!”
The blast took out half of the units. “Okay Sailor Mercury!
Your turn!”

Lee Lee gave
an ear-to-ear smile. “I have a new attack! Watch this!”
She spun around and swung her arms in an arc from waist to head.
“MERCURY GEYSER ERUPTION!” Several columns of water
blasted forth from beneath some of the remaining synthesizers,
tearing through the metal like paper.

Dee Dee hopped
up and down. “Wow! That was great Sailor Mercury!”

Mee Mee looked
at Dexter curiously. “Say, Dexter. Not that I care or nothing,
but shouldn’t you be running around screaming about us destroying
your lab about now?”

Dexter smirked
and pushed his glasses up on his nose. “Once again, you underestimate
the brilliance that is Dexter, Boy Genius. That is a fabricated
facsimile whose sole purpose is to provide a distraction to prevent
the destruction of my more sensitive instrumentation.”

Mee Mee pointed
over his shoulder. “Then I guess you didn’t want us messing
around over there.”

Dexter glanced
over his shoulder. Yet more geysers were erupting from random
locations around the lab, destroying anything at the point of
eruption. He whimpered as vital scanners and data acquisition
units were reduced to so much scrap metal. “My precious inventions…”

Dee Dee picked
up Dexter and set him to the side. “Come on Sailor Mars!
Let’s see your new attack!”

Mee Mee smiled
wickedly. “Girl, you ain’t see nothing yet!”
She raised both hands high, then twirled and knelt, slamming her
fists to the floor. “MARS LIGHTNING TEMPEST!”

Everyone slapped
their hands over their ears as the air was rent by the shear number
of lightning bolts discharging around them. Anything left standing
by Dee Dee’s and Lee Lee’s attack turned to slag almost instantly.
The girls stood staring in awe at the aftermath, then joined hands
and danced around.

“YAAAAAY!!”

“That was
so cool!!”

Lee Lee suddenly
stopped, a perplexed look on her face. “Hey! Wasn’t it Sailor
Jupiter that used electric attacks?”

The other two
girls stopped in shock.

“You’re
right!” Dee Dee bit her tongue as she concentrated. “What
are we going to do?”

Lee Lee tilted
her head to the side. “Couldn’t we just call her Sailor Jupiter?”

Mee Mee shook
her head. “No way! I want a new name.” A look
of inspiration came over her and she struck a pose. “From
now on, call me Sailor-P!”

Her friends looked
puzzled. “Huh?”

Mee Mee looked
nonplussed. “Sailor-P? ‘P’ as in Pony Puff Princess?”

Lee Lee looked
upset. “I wanna be Sailor Pony Puff!”

Dee Dee jumped
up and down. “No! Me! I’m gonna be Sailor-P!”

Mee Mee and Lee
Lee rounded on her. “You’re already Sailor-D!”

Dexter ignored
the squabbling girls. “Just you wait. I, Dexter, Boy Genius,
will not be outdone by a bunch of girls!”

The girls stopped
their argument as a brilliant glare forced everyone to cover their
eyes. When they could see again, Mandark stood in their midst,
surrounded by a group of – things.

Mandark waited
until he had their attention. “So, you pitiful fools thought
you had seen the last of Mandark! This time, I came prepared!
Behold! My evil creations will boggle your weak little intellects
and shrivel your souls!”

He gestured to
the first creature. “Behold! Terrortron!” The creature
raised its arms and roared. It might have originally been a lawn
mower. Now, it was a monster of fierce proportions with rotating
blades at the end of its arms. The blades started to spin, picking
up speed until their were just a blur. It crouched in an aggressive
stance, ready to pounce.

Mandark gestured
to the next. “Destructor!” The creature reared back,
its bellow deafening everyone. This one appeared to be a mutated
blender. As it bellowed, the grinding blades became visible in
it’s throat. It crossed its pincher shaped claws as it readied
its own charge.

Mandark waved
at the last. “And finally, er – uh – Twinkle.”

Everyone stared
at the last creature. From the cheerful blinking light in its
nose to the hearts on its body, it was not a monster to
inspire fear.

Dexter finally
found his voice. “Uh, Mandark. That last creature – it would
not happen to have been a night-light, would it?”

Mandark fumed.
“Oh shut up! Mom wouldn’t let me transform anything better
after she saw what happened to her blender.” He turned to
the monsters. “What are you waiting for?!” He spun,
his cape billowing behind him as he turned and flung out an arm.
“GO! And destroy Dexter’s Lab!”

The monsters
all roared and took a step forward. They stopped and looked around.
There wasn’t anything even remotely close that wasn’t already
blasted into small pieces. Twinkle tapped Mandark on the shoulder.

Mandark looked
up at it in irritation. “What?!”

It hooked a thumb
over its shoulder.

Mandark took
a look around, finally noticing the destruction. “Ah! Good
work!” He turned on Dexter. “So, Dexter. Now you see
the folly of going up against the Genius that is MANDARK! HA,
HA HA! HA, HA HA, HA HA!”

Dexter pressed
the button on his belt buckle. “Ha! It just so happens I
am prepared for you this time, Mandark!” He jumped backwards
as the Dexbot appeared behind him, landing on the outstretched
hand. “Behold! My greatest invention to date! Mecha Tuxedo
Glasses!” The Dexbot and been outfitted with a cane, cape,
and top hat, and painted to resemble a black tuxedo. The optical
sensor arrays had been enlarged to resemble the mask Tuxedo Glasses
normally wore. They glowed briefly as Dexter entered and activated
the systems.

Mandark looked
less than impressed. He yawned, covering his mouth with a hand.
“Ho, hum. And I suppose it throws roses, too.”

Dexter’s amplified,
digitally-filtered voice emanated from a speaker in the robot’s
head. “In a way – it fires R.O.S.E.S.!” The end of the
cane lifted from the floor and pointed towards Twinkle. A massive
flash blinded everyone and Twinkle disappeared in a sphere of
actinic fire. Dexter waited for the sonic shockwave to dissipate
enough for him to be heard once more. “Really Overpowered
Strategic Energy Spheres!”

Mandark clapped
his hands to the sides of his face. “TWINKLE!!” He shook
his fist at Mecha Tuxedo Glasses. “You’ll pay for that, Dexter!”
He glared at the other two monsters. “Get him!”

The girls watched
wide-eyed at the destruction unleashed as Mecha Tuxedo Glasses
fought Terrortron and Destructor.

“Oooooooooooooo!”

“Awwwwwwwwe!

Dee Dee shook
her head. “We have to put a stop to the Man-Dark General
and his evil minions!”

A voice behind
them caused them to turn.

“Not so
fast, Sailor-D!” Lala Baba stood with her hands on her hips.
The diminutive girl wore a – er – relatively long gown
of blue, a back tiara, and held a long staff surmounted by a large
black gem.

The girls gasped.
“It’s the Evil Queen Baba!”

Dee Dee shook
her fist at the tiny girl. “We will put an end to your reign
of evil!”

Lee Lee shook
her fist. “Yeah! And your bad fashion sense!”

Dee Dee and Mee
Mee stared at their friend a moment.

Dee Dee resumed
her interrupted speech. “We are the Sailor Scouts! Guardians
and Love and Justice!”

Lala Baba sneered.
“Your power is no match for me!” She raised the staff
high. A vortex of energy formed overhead, and a wide beam of energy
shot from the center. The girls were tossed across the lab by
the explosion. Mecha Tuxedo Glasses took a glancing hit and lost
an arm as it was blasted off its feet. Destructor disappeared
in the beam, consumed completely.

Mandark glared
at his sister. “Hey! That was Mom’s blender! I’m responsible
for that!”

The beam continued
to the side of the lab, then blasted through the wall to vaporize
much of the living room. It tore through the outside wall and
moved out into the street where a few cars parked along the curb
melted into slag. It doubled back through the yard before fading
to nothing outside the kitchen.

Dexter and Dee
Dee’s mom frowned at the distraction. She poked her head out of
the kitchen to yell upstairs, “You kids play nice or you’ll
have to go home!”

Dee Dee stood
on wobbly feet. She took a moment to poke her head through the
wall to look into the living room. “Okay Mom!” She turned
her attention back to the fight. “It our turn now!”
She spun her scepter. “MOON SCEPTER ELIMINATION!”

Lala Baba countered
the blast with a blast of her own. The beams met and deflected
upwards. The combined beams blasted through the ceiling, then
continued out into space before finally splitting the moon in
two.

A recently recovered
Dexter stared in horror, then glared in anger at the girls. “Hey,
Hey! Do you have any idea how much work it was to get the
moon back into its proper place?!” He muttered to himself
as he tried to forget what a bad day for science that had been.
Stupid girls… stupid astrology…”
Now he’d be up all night replacing the moon – again.

Lee Lee stepped
forward. “I’ll deal with Queen Baba!” She twirled daintily,
her arms swung in an arc from waist to head. “MERCURY GEYSER
ERUPTION!”

Not a single
column of water erupted anywhere close to their enemy. Several
did erupt underneath Dexter’s stricken mecha, knocking
the boy senseless once more.

Mee Mee struck
a pose. “It’s up to me now!” She raised both hands high,
then twirled and knelt, slamming her fists to the floor. “PONY
PUFF LIGHTNING TEMPEST!”

Bolts of lightning
discharged all around the short figure, but again failed to connect.
The electricity raced through the water left by Lee Lee’s attack
to completely short out Mecha Tuxedo Glasses. It lay smoldering,
little arcs of electricity from the numerous short circuits racing
across its surface.

It was evident
that they couldn’t take Lala Baba on their own. “We need
more help!” Dee Dee closed her hands around her scepter.
“Come forth Sailor Mini-Moon!”

A large form
gradually solidified next to her. “Heh-huh-he. Hey Dee Dee!
It’s me, Koosie!”

“KOOSIE!”
Dee Dee flung herself into his arms for a hug.

Koosie noticed
the frilly blue mini-skirt stretched around his large form. “Uh,
Dee Dee? What’s this?”

Dee Dee looked
upset. “We were playing Sailor Moon, and then that stupid
Mandark appeared with his stupid monsters, and then his stupid
sister appeared and wouldn’t play fair and lose like in the show,
and so I called you to help us fight the evil forces of the Negaverse!!”

Koosie looked
puzzled as he tried to follow the conversation. As he finally
worked through it, he became nervous. “Fight? Well, I, uh,
that is…”

Mee Mee and Lee
Lee moved to either side of him, pinning him in place.

“You have
to help us!”

“Yeah, Sailor
Mini-Moon! Just use your power and attack!”

Koosie gave Dee
Dee a confused look. “I have powers?”

Dee Dee nodded
enthusiastically. “Just aim at the bad-guys and say what
comes to mind!”

Koosie didn’t
share that enthusiasm. “If you say so.” He turned toward
Lala Baba and the remaining monster. “SUGARY PINK HEART KOOSIE
MINI-MOON-BEAM!” The large heart on his chest started to
glow and a pink heart-shaped beam shot forth. It was surprisingly
strong. It was also aimed the wrong way. Mecha Tuxedo Glasses
was hit dead-on by the beam and blasted against the far wall.
From the looks of it, Mecha Tuxedo Glasses was out of the fight
for good.

Koosie put his
hand behind his head. “Oops! Sorry about that!”

Lala Baba laughed
in evil mirth. “You will fall before me, Sailor Scouts! Your
power is nothing compared to mine!”

Dee Dee looked
distraught. “She’s right. We can’t fight her.”

Koosie took Dee
Dee by the shoulders. “No! You mustn’t give up, Dee Dee!
Good will always win over evil! You just have to believe in yourself!”
He pulled her into a big hug as the heart on his chest glowed.

Dee Dee sniffled,
then smiled. “You’re right! Come on, Scouts! We have to combine
our powers!”

The girls gathered
around Dee Dee and Koosie as they all grabbed a hold of Dee Dee’s
scepter.

Dee Dee nodded
once. “Now, use your imagination. We must use the power of
our belief to beat the evil Queen of the Negaverse!”

A glow formed
around the the Sailor Scouts. Lala Baba noticed and called again
on the vortex of evil energy. The beam engulfed the group, but
dissipated as the rising glow overpowered it.

Dee Dee, Mee
Mee, Lee Lee, and Koosie all yelled as one. “PLANET PRETEND
POWER!!”

The beam emanating
from the scepter swept up Lala Baba, Mandark, and Terrortron.
They were flung bodily through the wall of the lab and out towards
the horizon… along with much of the debris from the laboratory,
the neighbor’s cars, Huber Elementary School, the local bridge,
and three skyscrapers. As it all disappeared into the distance,
the girls flung up their hands.

“We did
it!!”

“We won!!”

“We defeated
the dark forces of the Negaverse!”

Dee Dee hugged
Koosie. “And we owe it all to Koosie! You’re a hero!”

Koosie looked
shocked. “I am?” He started to grin. “Of course
I am! Now I can go back!” He hugged Dee Dee back. “Oh,
thank you Dee Dee! Because of you, I can return home.” He
started to fade. “Remember, never doubt the power of your
imagination.”

The girls waved
as Koosie faded from sight. “Good-bye Koosie!”

Dexter dragged
himself from the remains of his Dexbot. “What – what occurred
in this vicinity while I was incapacitated?”

Dee Dee gave
him a slap on the back, sending him sprawling. “It’s okay
now, Dexter. We’ve defeated the forces of the Negaverse. Your
lab is safe!”

The girls turned
as one and left the laboratory, flitting on their tiptoes – through
the massive hole in the wall.

Dexter turned
slowly. As far as the eye could see, not a single piece of the
lab had survived the combined battles that had taken place. His
cheek twitched a couple times before he finally broke out crying.

“WAAAAAHEHEHEHEHEHEHE.”

Thus ends another tale of Dexter’s Laboratory.
I really appreciate all the nice comments. It appears that most
people think I’ve done a pretty good job capturing the spirit
of Dexter’s Lab. It is my whole goal – to make a story that you
can actually imagine as an episode on TV. Dexter and friends will
return…

Author’s notes: I made a funny slip on the
first draft of this chapter that Ben picked up. He wrote the following
in reply; it was so cute, I had to include it here. Enjoy!

Ranma fumed. “Just you wait. I, Dexter,
Boy Genius, will not be outdone
by a bunch of girls!”

*CROSSOVER ALERT!!!*CROSSOVER ALERT!!*
Freudian slip. We’ve secretly
replaced TV’s Dexter with Anime’s Ranma. Let’s see if anyone notices
the
difference.

Ranma(to Dee-Dee): Quit messin’ up my lab,
you uncute tomboy!

Dee-Dee(ballet-dancing, giggling): Dexter…
no… baka! (breaks a
sample container full of cold water over Ranma’s head) Oooooh!
Time
to play dress-up now!

Ranma gets dragged off to Dee-Dee’s dreaded,
cootie-bug-filled room
and is forced to participate in a fashion show with Mee Mee and
Lee Lee
as judges. “No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

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